How do you deal with sibling fighting in toddlers?
I nanny for two girls, ages 2 and 4. Just recently they have started fighting a lot more, because the younger one can actually communicate now. I think the older girl also sees the younger one as competition now. I want to know how to problem solve without choosing sides or making one child feel like I care more about the other. Also, what are some stratigies to keep them from fighting in the first place? I'm pretty much open to any ideas.
How do you deal with sibling fighting in toddlers?
Two Arm Technique for Hitting, Biting, Pushing and Toy Snatching
One of the most common questions I get asked is how to respond when two toddlers or preschoolers are involved in an altercation. If your child has just been hit, had their toy snatched, pushed... just what should you do?
My answer is called the "Two Arm Technique" taught to me by Althea Poulos. Here is how it goes:
When you witness a situation when two young children are in a kerfuffle begin by ask yourself "who owns the problem"? In the case of a child having a toy snatched from their hands, it is the child who lost the toy. Our culture likes to label this child the "victim" and we have very strong personal ideas about helping an innocent victim! Our first impulse is to rush over and console the "poor upset victim" and to admonish the "bully" who overstepped his bounds. We pluck the toy from the "bully", yell at him for his mean behaviour and return it to the "victim" so we have set things right!
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